I thought I would be a stronger christian than I had ever been before while being here. Turns out, I still face a battle every day of waking up early and spending time with Him. Sometimes I lose, and my intimacy with the Lord suffers because of it.
I'm not perfect. Know that I have "dry" times. Know that I struggle with spending a quality time with God. But He somehow pulls me back in every time. It amazes me how I come to times where I put little to no effort to getting back on track with the Lord, yet He still, time after time, pursues me.
To be totally vulnerable, I have been slacking on spending time with God for the last few weeks and I have felt the effect of it. During this time, I was praying that He would give me discernment for what He wants me to do here and what He wants me to do with my future. Then Psalm 119:105 was somehow thrown in my face over and over again, in different places at different times. "Your Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path."
It's like God saying to me, "Samantha you are asking me to show you the way, but I will show you through My Word. Why don't you start reading it more?"
I often get what I like to call a slap in the face from God. And sometimes that's just what you need-a slap in the face to get you to straighten up and return to the presence of your Creator.
I've been slapped and I am now returning into His mighty, wonderful, and peaceful presence.
I can completely relate. Like Ps 119:105 kept coming to your mind, Rom 12:2 comes to my mind. God is so gracious in the way he pursues us even while we're being selfish with our time and neglecting him (like Rom 5:8). Sharing this is edifying for me; thanks for sharing! ...and Happy Birthday!!
ReplyDeleteThe person of the Holy Spirit is our helper in all ways. Pray to him like you pray to God the father. Depend on him to live like you depend on Christ for salvation. His power is mighty, his guidance is perfect. Jesus says himself that it's BETTER that he leaves and the helper comes (John 16:7). Jesus believes the Holy Spirit is an upgrade! Know that he is with you constantly fighting your flesh on your behalf. Find peace, comfort, and joy in this truth. You are most certainly not alone. Also, happy belated birthday!
ReplyDeleteWe have been studying Genesis this year, as you know, and this is what I have learned the past two weeks. The Lord pursued Hagar when she ran away from Sarai. Two angels went after Lot to pull him and his family out of Sodom. God never ever stops pursuing those who will respond to Him. Keep the lines of communication open with Him, He is the reason you are there.
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